“I think I’m ready too” He murmured on the other side of the phone
“Okay.” I said
“Okay". Lets do it then” He replied.
And just like that we committed to leaving the house of our dreams, to a city far away on a coastline of coal ships and to people we truly just love to be with.
Life has flipped itself on its head for us this month. The trajectory we thought our lives were going, sputtered, spun out of control then came to a halt. We didn’t expect this at all. But when life throws you curve balls… You adapt.
Over the next few weeks we will be leaving our forrest home, if you have been following me for a while, you will know how much we love it (and i know you guys love it too)
This space I am so grateful for, a year of amazing Forrest loving has been so beneficial for the both of us. And we will be heading to the coal port city of Newcastle. The city where we first fell in love.
The whole thing on the socials of only choosing what you want people to see of your life has been niggling at me lately. So cheers to a little transparency.
Life’s been challenging for us, I only had one little meltdown of tears, annnd my period was due so I am super proud of that... Yet we are still truly blessed and giggling about greatness most days. But it’s like grey skies have blanketed us. And yes we have a diagnosis; so now we can act... Knowledge is power. But the murkiness of what the future holds is what looking like an oncoming thunderstorm. Marks diagnosis, and me being the partner of somebody who now; can be classified disabled. Is shocking; making us a bit wobbly (well Markys been wobbly for months 😅) though now we know which direction to swim. The not knowing for how long, or what’s next is what is daunting. It’s a whole birdbox situation over here. Chronic illness is a confusing one.
Navigating a disease neither of us had ever heard until the doc slapped it as an identifier for him earlier this week. Which he is choosing to not to identify with. And I am choosing not to identify as the career of someone who could be classified “sick”. We’re to young for that shit?! Mark isn’t sick. He is coping, surviving and tackling a genetic displacement, while being optimistic and sticking to his dream path. And so am I. With a few tweaks and adjustments of course. Like leaving this bedroom, leaving this home.
But it’s just a new open door for us, a new pathway to explore and learn and experience; together.
Sometimes I think “Are we just being ignorant?” Choosing not to look this diagnosis straight in the eyes? But I think we haven’t gotten enough information to be ignorant; we’re definitely dealing in the unknown of it all still. Waiting to see a specialist in a few weeks. Though tackling it in other ways of diet, mindfulness, nature and routines.
Most of our tribe we wanted to speak with going through this process, cuddle, be raw with and cultivate FUN with were bubbling out of the cauldron of Newcastle.
When going through a hard time. Friends and family are important to bounce ideas off, to hold space for one another and to create a community of compassion with. And right now, thats what we need. So for friends, and for the accessibility to continue studies (for us both), to have access to more medical options for Mark, to grow in new ways, and find new challenges. We will be leaving a lifestyle we love, a garden, serenity and a puppy grave, for a city filled with community and new opportunities for us to grow in multiple ways.
Were not sure when we will be off. All we know is that the time is coming and we will be saying our goodbyes to these lands soon. Welcoming a new journey we didn’t anticipate into our lives. I don’t have any idea how this is going to play out but my soul is whispering yes, and I’m going to listen.