Transformation - My current journey and findings of awareness.

Transformation…. Isn’t is a scary, amazing incredible thing?

Its almost a constant state for me, launching into this new year. Feeling this fire burning within my womb space of passion, change, truth and alignment. Something has clicked. and its still clicking into place. A new way of being perhaps?

This year has kicked off the such energy and following that energy such creative juice, new learnings, finding new teachings and feeling my resistance fade to certain ways of thinking, feeling, and about energetic metaphysical universal realms. Watching my own awareness of self, my relation to self, others and environment really start to fall in place. ( like really, really.) and this is where honesty, transparency and vulnerability really start becoming powerful, unashamed tools of being authentic to myself. And to be authentic with me is also doing that with everyone else.

I hear all the time “Awaken, “Become empowered”, “Find confidence”, "cultivate self love",  and just "let go of negative thought patterns” etc etc in the headlines of people who are wellness coaches, influencers, speakers and gurus.

And my own understanding is that the foundation for ANY of that to happen is to cultivate a connection with yourself. 

Finding new ways to be AWARE of who we are,  and how our thoughts interact with how we feel. What we say (and how we say it)/ what we think/ how we act/and what we choose to partake in all effects our psyches, it effects our nervous systems, brain chemistry, hormones, energy and weather or not we get “better” or “worse”.

This can also can been seen as positive thinking VS. negative thinking. Ying and yang, polars etc… Thinking, acting, being in one polar continues validation to be within that context of thinking… Neurons that fire together, wire together…. Meaning, the more we think those thoughts either positive or negative or the good ol' balance between the two. The more we are going to create a stronger neural pathway in our brain that makes it easier to stay within that thought matrix, and our brain will continue to find information to verify and validate that way of thinking. ( think of this like an insta algorithm, the social media bubble is real, and it happens within our psyches too)  


Cultivating awareness of self isn’t about ridding or "letting go" (like its that easy) of negative thoughts about ourself or about others/ environment/ situations

(both is just as damaging! When we tell ourselves that we “aren’t good enough”, “i’m ugly” “ i won’t succeed.” We are essentially assaulting and abusing our psyches. Our brain cannot tell the difference between our own negative self talk or if somebody else telling/yelling at  us these things…. This is where that quote of “ Talk to yourself like someone you love” really begins to hit home)

Cultivating awareness is about becoming aware of the ways we think, if we are even aware of these voices, or choices that we make out of habit, or anxiety or unworthiness. Firstly we need to understand that ways we are thinking/ acting and how it effects our own livelihoods, and thus those around us, our homes, and our tribe.


Once awareness is awakened, truly coming into everyday situations, practicing compassionate self reflection and constantly coming back to ourselves, grounding and breathing and being at home in our own skins, knowing it is safe. ( this part can be really fun, and it takes some energy to get there, but once we become aware of our actions and thoughts the conversations can be FUN) Then are we truly able to come into a more empowering state. Then we can start to take on what these wellness coaches and pop culture self help books talk about. Transforming into the people we want to be. We can start asking ourselves “What is the life worth living?” and “Who am i, and who can i be for others?”


At the moment i find myself constantly transforming. Cognitive dissonance between old stories and new ways of thinking battling it out in my head.  Becoming more and more attuned and thankful for the earth, my belongings, and understanding how wealthy i am RIGHT NOW. And a lot of the time, I am exhausted! I am tired and I like to go to bed at 9pm sharp and knowing that IT IS OKAY. Because our bodies and brains literally use up more juice going through these kinds of changes as it takes a lot of energy to shift from one habitual neural pathway to carving and connecting a new, more empowered and aligned pathway in our brains. Our metabolism slows in these processes, we become tired and irritable. We have this fight going on within us between staying with the old ways of being/thinking/acting because IT IS SAFE and we know how it works. To understanding on one level that we need to/want to adapt, change, become more awakened and open by taking the risk and to change our ways, our thoughts, our actions into better, more positive, brighter and soulfullfilling.

This is where self sabotage can come into play… because our survival brain is like “ nah ugh sister! We aint changing, we aint eating healthy, and we are deffs not going to the gym… Cause you just picked a stupid fight with your partner,  so now we can go back to our old ways of thinking and eat that chocolate bar and its fine girl, we know its safe and we know it makes us feel good”

Change is challenging man!

And this is something that i think gets us ALL. Life is going GREAT then we spend to much money with friends at dinner and end up unable to buy our groceries next week and because we can’t afford our fav breakfast foods so… life is now SHIT, and we give ourselves justification and validation that thinking negatively is okay now, which  continues the cycle of thinking negatively about everything… ( even though we did it to ourselves). Thus not inviting in the things we want in our lives, and creating more self sabotage, and continuing to sit in unhealthy ways of being... We can all hear that little soul voice in the back of our heads when this is happening... They are sobbing quietly in the corner 

We need to transform one tiny neural awareness pathway at a time, and begin to be aware of self sabotage, and our stories we hold about ourself. 


Connection, even to ourselves, soothes our systems. We have to love ourselves to allow others to love us too. We need to nourish our own nervous systems in healthy ways as it is so important to function. Through this process we end up looking into our shadows, into the hard stuff. Remember not to avoid and ignore parts of you, even the dark shit and the triggers... its apart of you! and we need to tackle our whole psyches, bodys and self as ONE WHOLE. Be holistic about your self development.  Be curious, be compassionate and inquire within yourself and how it effects you. Become aware of how you feel when  things come up, when life throws curve balls…


2019 is a year of radical transformation, awakening, awareness of self for me.

And is something I want to write/discuss and share more often.

This form of coming into a new me, of self development, of understanding how my body reacts, how it is constantly throwing me these chemical cocktails depending on what I do.. positively or negatively is… I find the most empowering way to this self love like a boss guru, confident, and unstoppable self we all have within us… Its not an easy ride, but we can all cultivate awareness, and change our conditioning and stories to adapt into a healthier and happier version of ourselves! (if thats what we want ofc)

This is my own experience and journey as a western raised gal in Aus. But i believe we all need an intergrated system of personal insight, interpersonal relationships and suprapersonal (universal and spiritual) grounding and guidance to create and cultivate a whole person/ earthly bound experience of life and how we as a person interact with that 

if you're into this shit as much as I am check out, and all things joe rogan for more podcasts. For  books check out Earth is Hiring by Peta Kelly, The body keeps the score, and books and talks by Brene brown to start.... Then follow your own rabbit hole into greatness!  

Mwah, mads 

Have any other resources you wanna share Please do below! or DM me on IG.